You Can’t Get a New Job With Your Old Self

Read that again.

It's time to move on. It might be life post-pandemic, boredom with the day-to-day, frustration with your boss, or the desire to learn and grow. You may have already actively reflected on why to leave or maybe layoffs are about to happen. Whatever the reason, you have decided that now is the time for a new job.

Exciting? Sure. Frightening? Maybe. Is there lots of advice on how to get a job? Definitely. But the most important piece of advice is this.

You can't get a new job with your old self.

Read that again.

The “old you” - the one who wants to leave, or has been left - is not the version of “you” who gets a new job.

You can't get a new job with your old self. So before you edit your resume, update your LinkedIn and clean up your social media, get out paper and pen to get into “new you” shape with three exercises to help contextualize and contain the past so you can pivot to the future.

Don't Blame Your Ex. Whatever the reason for your departure - planned or unplanned - time spent blaming or bad-mouthing is not, in the long run, going to help you, your confidence or your search. A friend’s father gave her a full week for a full-on pity party after a college break-up with the understanding that she would get back to her routine, with his support, the following week. While tentative at first, moving forward allowed her to reflect back on what didn’t work and the time limitation helped her get curious about what she wanted next. So sure, take a week or so to grieve and vent. But staying in a state of blame for a decision that has been already made does not serve your “new” self. Find a way to step forward and get curious as a way to depersonalize and distance blame.

Ask yourself:

• What did I learn about myself, about my team and the work environment?

• Where did I shine?

• Where did I struggle and why?

• And importantly: what difference did I really make in supporting others and shared success?

Consider the Conundrum of Confidence. Confidence. It’s what we need to be calm, cool and collected in presenting the best version of ourselves. Yet, like public speaking for some and bathing suit shopping for others, job searching seems to rob us of confidence at the very time we need it most. How can we be confident when we are at our most vulnerable, when we are unsure of the process and the outcome? Building confidence in what we can control allows us to build confidence in navigating what we cannot control. Flip the confidence script by rejecting focusing on the goal - getting the job - in favor of focusing on the process - is this a job, a team, a culture that I can bring my best?

Ask yourself:

• Instead of worrying about what a company wants from you, ask instead what you want from your next company?

• What do you need to bring your best and be successful?

• If you are worried about what skills, experience, and talents you don’t have, jot down what are the skills and strengths you do bring; what are the skills you want to learn?

• Unsure of your cover letter or interview capabilities? Who are the people who can help you edit a letter, role play for an interview or make an introduction?

An Attitude of Gratitude. It may seem like too much to ask to go from licking your wounds and giving up blame to vulnerability, self-reflection and then gratitude. All just to prepare for finding a new job. But the practice of gratitude is not the culmination of “a new and better you” but a proven strategy to shift from a place of stress and anxiety to calm and hope. Active gratitude - noting and naming what you are thankful for - brings focus to what is good and therefore possible. There are no rules or wrong answers. Nothing is too small or too large to be undeserving of gratitude.

Ask yourself:

• What am I grateful for today?

• What am I grateful for about my past work and current skills because of that work?

• Who am I grateful to have worked with in a previous job?

Actively reflecting on these questions will prepare you for the unique challenges of a job search by putting the past in context, reminding you of your talents and finding promise in an unpredictable process.